Friday, October 29

'Ballad of the Well-Wasted Vote'

I got a chuckle out of this, hope you will too.

'Ballad of the Well-Wasted Vote'
Filed under: Announcements
Originally written by Lance Brown (10/29/04)

"If the two-party system has got you down
If you think Ralph Nader is a worn-out clown
If the war in Iraq is making you sick
You've got just one voting choice--Badnarik!

If you think our education system is a joke
And most of our tax dollars go up in smoke
If you know Bush and Kerry are just layin' it on thick
There's just one guy for you--Badnarik.

If you think John Kerry is an elitist snob
And you think that W. has never earned a job
And you think Ralph Nader is an annoying pri- (watch your mouth!)
There's one guy who's not those things--Badnarik!

If you think $300 million is a little bit much
To re-elect an incumbent who's out of touch
If you don't want your V.P. to be that guy named Dick
Pull the lever for Michael Badnarik.

With one guy who grabbed the guns of Iraqis
And one who thinks guns are just for shooting things that go 'quack'-i
One candidate speaks softly and carries a 9mm stick
2nd Amendment champion Michael Badnarik.

If you're tired of rule-by-entitled-hick and you don't want to hire Mr. Slick
And you know the Bi-partisans are a blood-sucking tick
There's just one guy left for you to pick
Cast your vote for Badnarik.

If Bush's first term has made you wary
And you just can't stomach voting for Kerry
If watching their speeches makes you go 'Ick!'
You've still got an option--Badnarik.

If you're tired of hearing about only two choices
And you wish this election had more than two voices
Then it's time to take action, and take it quick
Donate some money to Badnarik.

If you tried to be one of the Democratic faithful
Or you're a Republican who sees Bush's spending as wasteful
Then pick out that booger and give it a flick
Join the Libertarians and Badnarik.

If you can't support someone who supports the 'Patriot Act'
And you can't support someone who supports the War on Iraq
Don't worry--there's still someone for you to pick
Libertarian Michael Badnarik.

If you're planning on voting for the lesser of two evils
Then congratulations, I guess, on voting for evil
But if voting for evil happens to make you sick
Then vote for good for once--Badnarik.

There's so much talk about how our country's divided
But there's still a place where the two halves can be united
Whether 'lefty elitist' or 'right-wing hick'
You'll find something to love in Michael Badnarik.

The right would have government be the source of morality
The left would like it to be the source of charity
But government's not Jesus nor Old Saint Nick
Only one candidate sees that--Mike Badnarik.

If you're tired of hearing about 'bipartisan compromise'
If you see what that means with two open eyes
Now's your chance to break away from the Borg
Free yourself at

If your feelings on Iraq can be summed up as 'regret'
And you're pissed that the Patriot Act hasn?t been repealed yet
If the idea of individual liberty makes you wet
Then get your ass over to

If you're not interested in seeing who Bush will next be attacking
(With 20 thousand-plus dead from his first two shellackings)
If you're tired of seeing Bush fill up the morgue
Then head on over to

If you're tired of Bush and his neo-con cronies
And you see Kerry and Edwards as pro-war phonies
There's still one candidate that won't make you sick
In fact, you might even like him--Badnarik!

If you're biting your nails over the War in Iraq
And unlike Congress, you've read the Patriot Act
Then stop biting them nails--you're already down to the quick!
Save your nails, and the country--vote Badnarik.

The difference between Bush and Kerry is really quite minor
But we need more change than all the tea in China
This country needs change, and it needs it quick
And the true candidate for change is Badnarik.

300 million dollars to sell you a waffle
And another 300 million to sell you a golfer ('Now watch this drive!')
But it's not the highest bidder whom you should pick
It's the highest ideal, Vote Badnarik."


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